Have you ever wanted something so badly that it’s consumed your every thought? I’ve been struggling with this for the past two years but a couple of days ago there was a twist thrown into the mix. Things are completely out of my control now. For someone who likes to be in control this is hard to accept.
It also makes me wonder if God has a reason for all of this. I know he knows my life plan, maybe there’s a reason I’m in this position? Where to go now, what choice to make? Going after what I want, would be life altering for me and that’s scary. Is that selfish? Honestly, it is, it would affect more people than just me!
How do I go on with my life knowing that I’m not happy and that I don’t feel complete? These feelings are horrible. I should be happy with my life and all that I’ve been blessed with. I just keep telling myself that there is a reason for all of this. I may not understand it now but in the future I hope to be able to look back and know why.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Not the kind of surprise I like!
Okay, after an extremely long Saturday filled with lots of soccer stuff, I’m going through the boy’s backpacks from school and just happen to come across a newsletter. I don’t normally read the entire thing but I do skim across the front in case something jumps out at me. This is what jumps:
Monday, March 10th – No School! Teacher prep day for report cards
I double check this info with the school calendar on the fridge and sure enough the boys don’t have school on Monday. I asked them both and get the, “sure, we know we don’t have school on Monday,” reply.
I couldn’t believe it! If I would have known this I wouldn’t have taken Friday off. Just our luck I guess. Maybe this is what we get for playing hooky! So, I sit here writing this on a Sunday afternoon at work. Josh and I will work a half day tomorrow so that we can stay with the boys the other half.
I guess the bright side to this is that I noticed this Saturday night and not on Monday morning when Josh gets up to take the boys to school. Could you imagine his mood then? Ha!
Monday, March 10th – No School! Teacher prep day for report cards
I double check this info with the school calendar on the fridge and sure enough the boys don’t have school on Monday. I asked them both and get the, “sure, we know we don’t have school on Monday,” reply.
I couldn’t believe it! If I would have known this I wouldn’t have taken Friday off. Just our luck I guess. Maybe this is what we get for playing hooky! So, I sit here writing this on a Sunday afternoon at work. Josh and I will work a half day tomorrow so that we can stay with the boys the other half.
I guess the bright side to this is that I noticed this Saturday night and not on Monday morning when Josh gets up to take the boys to school. Could you imagine his mood then? Ha!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Playing hookie!
Shhhhh! Josh and I are playing hookie from work today! Sometimes you just need a break, you know? He's told me that it's not a day to do chores and that if I start he's going to work. That's why I had to still get up early so that I could get the laundry going, ha!
I have to get Tristan's jerseys to the shop today though! Hope he doesn't mind doing that with me. I asked him if he wanted to check out Costco but he's not interested. (It's new here and I got a membership.) Anyway, I'll update later with what the day held for us :)
Update: We had a really good day. Took Tristan's jersey's in to have numbered and thank God Josh went with me. The mapquest directions weren't correct and we got lost. Had to use the I-Phone to find it, yes, technology is wonderful. Got it done which is a huge relief for me.
We had breakfast and then went to Costco! We were able to look around but not activate our cards because the customer service line was estimated to be an hour long. Unbelievable! I didn't see anything that I had to have anyway, it was a lot like Sams.
The boys had a birthday party last night. It was a "spy party" and they had to follow the clues in a scavenger hunt to find out who the double agent was. The mom put in a lot of work to make this happen. They had fun but were exhausted at the end of it. We went to a Starbucks, a 7-11 gas station, the library, the sports center, Safeway and then back to their house. 9 kids in two cars with 4 adults. Whew!
I have to get Tristan's jerseys to the shop today though! Hope he doesn't mind doing that with me. I asked him if he wanted to check out Costco but he's not interested. (It's new here and I got a membership.) Anyway, I'll update later with what the day held for us :)
Update: We had a really good day. Took Tristan's jersey's in to have numbered and thank God Josh went with me. The mapquest directions weren't correct and we got lost. Had to use the I-Phone to find it, yes, technology is wonderful. Got it done which is a huge relief for me.
We had breakfast and then went to Costco! We were able to look around but not activate our cards because the customer service line was estimated to be an hour long. Unbelievable! I didn't see anything that I had to have anyway, it was a lot like Sams.
The boys had a birthday party last night. It was a "spy party" and they had to follow the clues in a scavenger hunt to find out who the double agent was. The mom put in a lot of work to make this happen. They had fun but were exhausted at the end of it. We went to a Starbucks, a 7-11 gas station, the library, the sports center, Safeway and then back to their house. 9 kids in two cars with 4 adults. Whew!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Runway's winner and Lipstick Jungle
And the winner is.....Christian! In all of his fierceness! The show last night was really good. Rami is still my favorite, I loved the dresses that he made. But I will admit, Christian had the "wow" factor.
If you guys don't have much to do tonight, I have a new favorite show that comes on at 9 p.m. on NBC. Lipstick Jungle! It's so good! Granted, I won't be watching it with you guys tonight. I have to record it and I'll watch it sometime over the weekend. It's a fun show, I love seeing Andrew McCarthy again. He was in a lot of movies I watched as a teenager. Lindsay Price is from 90210 which I was a die hard fan of. Anyway, I enjoy it.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Teaching morals and values
Turning your child in for doing something wrong is hard for me to do. I know it’s important and it’s the right thing to do but it really rips at my heart. I just keep telling myself that if I don’t do it now, the “small” things that happen now will just turn into big stuff in the future.
Last year, Aidan stole a book from his classroom and put it on his bookshelf in his room. I came across it one day and it had the teacher’s name inside it. I asked him why it was here and he said, “I wanted it.” We had the big conversation about how that was stealing and it was his responsibility to return it the following day and tell his teacher what he did. His teacher last year was really mean and it worried me to no end how she might respond to this. Come to find out, he lost both of his recess times for that day and had to stand by the wall. Okay, I can deal with that and hopefully he learned a valuable lesson.
A couple of days ago, I’m going through Aidan’s homework folder and come across his reading minutes from last month. The total was 647 minutes. This is unusually high; Tristan hasn’t even ever accomplished that. I remember saying to myself, “Did we really read that much?” It’s possible with the tutoring and what not and then I flip it over to the calendar that we record them on and notice that every day that I hadn’t written some minutes in, Aidan had taken the liberty to write in some totals and sign my name for me. Can you believe it? Forging a signature at the age of 8?
Of course I asked him why he did it and his only response was, “I wanted it to look better than it did.” I told him he would have to tell her what he did. Immediate tears fell from him; honestly I wanted to cry myself. He wrote her a letter of apology. I highlighted the minutes that he should not have received credit for and his true total for the month should have been 250. I also sent her an email to just give her a head’s up that he had something to give to her and if for some reason he didn’t to please let me know.
Again, I’m worried about what may happen to him. He’s worried because he knows that he’s disappointed me and he loves his teacher this year and doesn’t want to disappoint her also. She did get the email and asked him if he had something for her. He gave it to her with another apology and she told him, “It makes me really sad.” That’s it, no punishment - the lucky boy! Who cares though, the whole point in this is that if you do something wrong you have to face the music and whatever consequences come with it.
I told Josh about it last night and his response made me laugh. It seems that Aidan is a lot like Jeremy, Josh’s brother. Jeremy signed his mother’s name in 2nd grade also and was caught. Josh remembered asking him, “Why would you do that when anyone with eyes could tell a little boy wrote that and not a mom!”
Last year, Aidan stole a book from his classroom and put it on his bookshelf in his room. I came across it one day and it had the teacher’s name inside it. I asked him why it was here and he said, “I wanted it.” We had the big conversation about how that was stealing and it was his responsibility to return it the following day and tell his teacher what he did. His teacher last year was really mean and it worried me to no end how she might respond to this. Come to find out, he lost both of his recess times for that day and had to stand by the wall. Okay, I can deal with that and hopefully he learned a valuable lesson.
A couple of days ago, I’m going through Aidan’s homework folder and come across his reading minutes from last month. The total was 647 minutes. This is unusually high; Tristan hasn’t even ever accomplished that. I remember saying to myself, “Did we really read that much?” It’s possible with the tutoring and what not and then I flip it over to the calendar that we record them on and notice that every day that I hadn’t written some minutes in, Aidan had taken the liberty to write in some totals and sign my name for me. Can you believe it? Forging a signature at the age of 8?
Of course I asked him why he did it and his only response was, “I wanted it to look better than it did.” I told him he would have to tell her what he did. Immediate tears fell from him; honestly I wanted to cry myself. He wrote her a letter of apology. I highlighted the minutes that he should not have received credit for and his true total for the month should have been 250. I also sent her an email to just give her a head’s up that he had something to give to her and if for some reason he didn’t to please let me know.
Again, I’m worried about what may happen to him. He’s worried because he knows that he’s disappointed me and he loves his teacher this year and doesn’t want to disappoint her also. She did get the email and asked him if he had something for her. He gave it to her with another apology and she told him, “It makes me really sad.” That’s it, no punishment - the lucky boy! Who cares though, the whole point in this is that if you do something wrong you have to face the music and whatever consequences come with it.
I told Josh about it last night and his response made me laugh. It seems that Aidan is a lot like Jeremy, Josh’s brother. Jeremy signed his mother’s name in 2nd grade also and was caught. Josh remembered asking him, “Why would you do that when anyone with eyes could tell a little boy wrote that and not a mom!”
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Flipping out!
Do you remember in school when someone would flip their eyelids? I do, although I never attempted it myself. Maybe it's because I treasure my eyes. I've worn glasses since I was 8 and contacts since I was 12. I don't mess with my eyes.
Anyway, Aidan comes home from school with his left eye bright red, it's obviously hurting him. I asked him what happened and he turns around and then turns back to me with his eyelid flipped. Ewww! I'm a little angry because I had talked with them before about not doing this. I used the, "if God wanted your eyelids flipped inside out he would have made you that way", example.
About an hour later his eye was really hurting, the eyelid was even swollen in the middle and his eye was creating some slimy stuff that I had to clean out. Luckily I had some soothing eye drops for extremely dry eyes which seemed to help. Unfortunately, Aidan has to learn things the hard way. Thankfully though, he's learned a lesson and taught it to Tristan also. The look on Tristan's face was priceless.
Anyway, Aidan comes home from school with his left eye bright red, it's obviously hurting him. I asked him what happened and he turns around and then turns back to me with his eyelid flipped. Ewww! I'm a little angry because I had talked with them before about not doing this. I used the, "if God wanted your eyelids flipped inside out he would have made you that way", example.
About an hour later his eye was really hurting, the eyelid was even swollen in the middle and his eye was creating some slimy stuff that I had to clean out. Luckily I had some soothing eye drops for extremely dry eyes which seemed to help. Unfortunately, Aidan has to learn things the hard way. Thankfully though, he's learned a lesson and taught it to Tristan also. The look on Tristan's face was priceless.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Their 1st Dance
Joel (our 3rd son), Aidan and Tristan
Ashanti, Aidan, Faith and Carissa
Tristan singing to Soulja Boy. No dancing but at least he was singing.
Finally towards the end of the night Josh was able to get them to go out and do the sprinkler.
Tristan got a bit delirious, ha!
Aidan!
We had a great night and I learned a lot! The boys didn't really dance, they stood around and watched everyone else. They said it was because the DJ didn't play any good music. I have to admit, they did have to listen to Hannah Montana, High School Musical 2, Barbie Girl and what not. When a song would come on, the girls would all scream and then start singing and doing whatever dance went along with the song. Every song seemed to have a specific choreographed dance. The boys were clueless. Tristan did go up and request a song but it never was played. It was fun to explain to him what the DJ was there for and how to do that.
I also noticed that all of the boys came just as they were from school and it looked like all of the girls had changed into a pretty dress, with dress shoes and had their hair done. Very impressive! The differences between boys and girls I guess.
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